As a coach, it never ceases to amaze me how often I find myself working with clients on strengthening their understanding of the importance of allowing joy in their lives; as well as their capacity to be in, and stay in, their own joy.
You would think a state like joy would be a place people would be running to get to and once there would find themselves hard pressed to leave … apparently, and sadly, not so much.
It seems we’re socialized/socially wired, and in so many ways encouraged, to complain, act stressed, express stress, be tense/anxious/negative – even (and at times especially) in the midst of having accomplished or received something we’ve worked very hard for and/or have said we really wanted; something we determined is positive and joyful for us … but only if we let it be; if we allow ourselves, and each other, to be in it; to be in the moment; to be in the joy.
Despite having achieved a desired joy, it is amazing how many of us spend so very little time there. Before we even allow the joy to take root in our lives and breathe new life into us, we all too often find ourselves moving right past that joy as we jump on to the next thing for us to complain or be negative about. And, too often, not wanting to be alone with our stuff, we can also find ourselves working (consciously or unconsciously) to keep those around us from being and staying in their joy as well.
After all, socialization really only works when there’s more than one willing participant.
Under the thinly veiled guise of ‘keepin’ it real!’, or ‘I’m just sayin’!’, or whatever other catch-phrase or language we use to excuse our unwillingness to allow ourselves and those around us the joy we deserve, we can talk ourselves right out of our hard won joys and, in the process, keep ourselves, and each other, in perpetual states of complaining about the perceived misery of our perceptions of ‘not enough’ without realizing that very complaining/that very negativity only serves to bring to us more of the same (more things to complain and be negative about).
Another sure way we allow ourselves to get talked out of our happiness and joy is the habit so many of us have of checking-in with others to get their opinion; to see if what we know brings us joy meets with their approval. Yours is the only opinion on your life that ever truly matters. Knowing what your joy is and being that joy, bringing that joy, being about that joy, is your job and yours alone. Allow others the beautiful gift of observing you in your joy, and even allow them to benefit from it, but never allow anyone else the power to determine it!
Sometimes the sole reason, the ultimate purpose, for the circumstances we create for ourselves is to remind us of the imperative of allowing our joy AND that it is we who are the only ones responsible for ensuring the joy we desire to experience in our lives. Our joy depends solely on what we choose to bring forth from within; what we allow to blossom through us, as us; as our way of life, as our way of living; and not at all what we get from, or what is done by, any-one or any-thing external to ourselves.
So no matter what the joy is or how often or how many joys you experience in your life, if you don’t intentionally, purposefully, and consciously build your desire/your willingness/your capacity to choose your own joy; and to be and stay in your joy, then you will constantly see your moments of joy as fleeting, at best; or as opportunities for negativity and justifications for complaining, at worst. And, thus, be wholly unable to fully see, fully feel, fully experience, fully receive from or be in your moments of joy at all. And, really, that’s just a shameful and sad waste of a good joy, now isn’t it?
So, please, allow your joys. Allow yourself to be in your joys; let them take root, breathe, and live freely in your life-as your life; unencumbered by the very negativity allowing your joy always dispels.
Be in joy; and allow others time and space for them to be in theirs.
Commit to allowing your joy and you’ll soon see how much less you have, or even want, to be negative or complain about; and how much more real joy you will always have to be in, stay in, and enjoy!
Daringly bring forth the joy that is you.
Courageously be the joy that you seek.
Intentionally allow, and stay in, your joy for as long as you desire.
Do so faithfully knowing you will never be without your joy
BE…ILLUMINED!
What uniquely brings you joy?
What are the things you do for yourself that allow you to stay in your joy?
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